.png){kind=small}
101 CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR MOMS OF TEENAGE BOYS
Updated: 1 day ago
You're sitting next to your teenage son and the room is completely quiet.
Part of you is doing a happy little dance because he's right there beside you. The other part is scrambling for something to say. You don't want to sound too serious or too nosy. And you definitely don't want to start a lecture he never asked for.
So you stay quiet. He's on his phone, so you pick up yours.
Somewhere in that silence, you start to wonder how talking to your own son turned into a job interview for a job nobody wants.
Why "how was your day?" gets you one word
Ask a teenage boy how his day was and you'll usually get a shrug and a "fine". The second a question feels like an interview, the shutters come down.
Raising a teenage boy myself, I can tell you they do talk. It just happens on their timing, and it rarely looks like the sit-down conversations we picture.
My son opens up when a question feels accidental and nobody's waiting to react to his answer. A big serious talk makes him clam up. So I started thinking smaller. One light question can do more than an hour of me trying to have "the conversation".
What happens when the question is right
My son loves questions like these. One question can turn into a two-hour conversation, just the two of us hanging out. I secretly get the honor of listening to everything going on that beautiful mind of his, and I love every minute of it. The only thing is that it's mostly late at night. But I'll take it!
Sometimes he comes back the next day and says, "Hey, you know that question you asked last night?" And we pick it right back up. He needed to think it over. And that's absolutely fine. I love when the conversation keeps going, even if it's the next day, or next couple of days.
20 conversation starters for teenage sons you can try tonight
Here are 20 conversation starters to get you started, grouped by mood.
Just for fun
You can start here when you want a laugh to come first. Silly questions take the pressure off, and he'll be talking before he realizes it.
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What's the funniest thing that's happened to you this week?
If you could swap lives with anyone for a day, who would it be?
What's a skill you wish you had that you don't?
Want the whole deck?
The full "What Do I Even Say?" deck has 101 cards across 10 sections, from silly openers to the deeper stuff you've been putting off. The bonus section where he asks you the questions is in there too.
It's a print-at-home PDF with a mobile-friendly version, and you get it as an instant download for $10.
Grab the "What Do I Even Say?" full deck here. For Moms Of Teen Boys Instant download!
Every one of these questions is a little doorway into his world. Pick one tonight and see where it goes.
School and friends
"How was school?" never gets far. These give him a way in without feeling interrogated.
What's the best part of your school day — if there even is one?
Which teacher do you actually respect and why?
What do you think is the most useless subject you have to study?
Who's your closest friend right now and what do you like about them?
What he thinks about
You get a peek at what's living in his head here.
What's something you believe that most people your age don't?
What's something going on in the world that you actually care about?
If you could change one rule at school, what would it be?
What do you think adults get completely wrong about teenagers?
The deeper stuff
You can save these for a quiet car ride or a slow evening, after a few lighter ones have loosened things up.
Is there something we argued about that you feel like I didn't really hear your side of?
What's something you've done that you wish you could go back and handle differently?
Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't know what the right thing to do was?
Is there someone in your life right now who you're having trouble with?
His turn to ask you
There's a whole section in the deck where he gets to ask you the questions. It changes the dynamic in a way that's hard to explain until you try it. You hand him the lead for once, and it's one of the best ways I've found to improve your relationship with your teen son.
What were you like at my age? Be honest.
What's the biggest mistake you made when you were a teenager?
What's something you wish you'd known at my age that you only learned later?
What do you love about being my mom, even on the hard days?
Having these conversations during a car ride works well, since nobody has to look straight at anyone. A card left on his desk gives him time to think it over before he says a word.
And if your son has gone extra quiet lately, my post on what to do when your son teenage son refuses to talk to you might help. And for more ways to spend time together, you can try these mom and son date ideas.
Grab the "What Do I Even Say?" full deck here. For Moms Of Teen Boys Instant download!
If you enjoyed this post, I'd love it if you shared it on Pinterest! Thanks!
