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There is an unsung burden, a thief of joy that tiptoes into our lives disguised as kindness. It's a list of invisible tasks and unwritten expectations we put on ourselves in the name of making others happy. We do them without a murmur, believing it's our responsibility, our duty.

But the truth is, they can sometimes silently suck the energy, the passion, and the precious moments out of our lives. It can multiply over time and weigh on your shoulders like a ton of bricks.

What are they?

Let us unravel these unwritten expectations and gently, gracefully learn to release and let go of them.

things to let go of


1. Constant Availability

In this digital age, it's easy to feel obligated to be available 24/7 to those around you. Whether it's responding to messages, emails, or social media notifications, the pressure to always be on can be overwhelming.

Remember, it's okay to set boundaries. Your time is precious, and it's perfectly acceptable to switchoff and have moments of digital detox. Sometimes, you have to do it, and when you do, you realize that you actually need it.

2. Apologizing for Being Yourself

You are a unique and incredible individual, and you should never have to apologize for being true to yourself. Whether it's your quirks, interests, or even the way you express yourself, embrace it. You don't owe anyone an apology for being authentically you.

3. Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

How many times have you found yourself saying yes to things you'd rather say no to? It's time to let go of the guilt associated with saying no. Your time and energy are valuable, and it's crucial to invest them in things that truly matter to you.

4. Taking on Others' Emotional Baggage

It's human nature to want to support our loved ones, but taking on their emotional baggage can be too much, emotionally and mentally. Especially if you absorb negativity like a sponge, carrying the weight of others' anxieties and frustrations on your shoulders can leave you drained and depleted.

Learn to set healthy boundaries. You can be a supportive listener, and a shoulder to cry on, but remember, you're not responsible for carrying their burdens. Offer empathy, not solutions. Practice saying, "I hear you, and I'm here for you," without taking on their storm clouds.

It's okay to be empathetic, but remember that you are not responsible for fixing everyone's problems. Learn instead to offer support without carrying the weight of their emotions on your shoulders.

5. Comparing Your Journey to Others

The journey of life is unique for each person. Constantly comparing yourself to others can lead to self-doubt and rob you of the joy in your own accomplishments.

Celebrate your victories, no matter how small, and recognize that everyone has their own path.

Social media can paint a rosy picture of picture-perfect lives, and suddenly, we're comparing our messy bun to their airbrushed highlight reel. Stop! Celebrate your wins, big and small, and let go of the need to measure your worth against curated feeds. Be your own cheerleader, own your story, and embrace the beautiful mess that is you.

6. Justifying Your Choices

Your life is yours to live, and if it doesn't affect anybody else, you don't owe anyone an explanation for the choices you make. Whether it's your career, relationships, or lifestyle, as long as you are content and true to yourself, that's what matters.

You don't need external validation for your decisions.

7. Pleasing Everyone

It's impossible to please everybody, and trying to do so will leave you drained, unfulfilled, and quite frankly disappointed. It's downright impossible!

Prioritize your own needs, values, and desires. Focus on what makes you happy and aligns with your values.

Say "no" with grace, and focus on building relationships based on mutual respect and understanding, not bending to every whim.

8. Feeling Guilty for Taking "Me Time"

Self-care is not selfish; it's a necessity.

Whether it's a quiet evening with a book, a spa day, or a solo adventure, taking time for yourself is essential for your mental and emotional well-being. It's time we learn to release the guilt associated with prioritizing self-care.

9. Seeking Perfection

Perfection is an unattainable goal that often leads to stress and dissatisfaction. Embrace your imperfections, as they make you unique. Learn and grow from your experiences, and remember that life's beauty lies in its flaws.

The conversations you have in your mind about where you should be in life, or "I should be further in my career," "I should have a perfect relationship," "I should be thinner, fitter, better..." robs you of your peace of mind so stop the shoulds! They're bullies in disguise, telling you you're not enough as you are.

Replace them with "I am" statements. "I am enough," "I am worthy," "I am on my own perfect path."

Choose to be kind to yourself, let go of the shoulds, and embrace the magic of being perfectly imperfect.

10. Living Up to Society's Expectations

Society may have its expectations, but your happiness should not be dictated by external standards. Define your own success, beauty, and worth. Break free from societal norms that don't align with your values and create a life that feels authentic to you.

Seeking validation from others is a slippery slope. It can lead to dimming your light, bending to expectations that don't resonate with you. Find your inner compass and live by your own values, stand by your choices, and let your internal flame be your guide.

11. Being Mr or Ms Fix It

Ever walk into a room and suddenly feel responsible for everyone's emotions? The friend with a frown, the colleague with a sigh – is it on you to fix it? Is your default mode to jump in and solve everyone's problems?

While this instinct comes from a place of caring, it can and will leave you exhausted. Sometimes, offering support means simply being present, not fixing. It's okay to ask, "Are you alright?" But remember, their journey is theirs, and your presence, your genuine concern, is often enough.

Trust that people are capable of navigating their own challenges. Offer guidance if asked, but let them learn, grow, and stumble (that's how we all do it!).

12. Feeling Guilty

We all have moments where "what if" takes over. What if I said the wrong thing? What if I missed an opportunity? Guilt, that pesky gremlin, whispers in our ears, amplifying our mistakes.

Here's the truth: everyone makes mistakes.

Learn from them, forgive yourself, let go and move on. Easier said than done I know but if you dwell on it, it will steal your joy. Focus on the present, on the amazing things you're doing, and let go of the past with gentle compassion.

13. FOMO

Fear of missing out can keep us constantly chasing the next shiny thing, the next experience. But missing out on something can often lead to finding something new, something unexpected, something even better.

Be present in the here and now. Savor the moments, the connections, the quiet breaths. You won't miss out on what truly matters when you're fully present in what is. Let go of the FOMO frenzy and trust in your own path.

Maybe we should be celebrating JOMO instead, the Joy Of Missing Out!

14. The Need To Be Busy

In our hustle-and-grind culture, busyness has become a badge of honor. Quite honestly I don't where we learned the constant need to wear our exhaustion like a trophy. As if our daily life was a race where the more we did the better we looked? Or the more accomplished we appear to be. To others, maybe. But if you really look into this busyness we surround ourselves with, do they bring actual meaning to our lives?

The thing is, rest and taking time out for yourself is not laziness, it's power. Saying no is not selfishness, it's self-care. Keep yourself busy if you want to but think about how what you're busy with affects and enhances your life. Are you actually happy doing all the things that you're keeping yourself busy with?

Let go of constantly needing to be busy and on the move all the time. Take slow walks, curl up with a good book, spend time with loved ones, or do nothing at all! You're still doing something, but you take it down a few notches and suddenly you're a bit more relaxed. Your body, mind, and soul will thank you!

Remember, letting go is not about becoming cold or indifferent. It's about setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing your own needs, and making space for your happiness. It's about honoring your worth without needing it validated by others. It's about saying yes to your own dreams, adventures, and your own path.

With each act of letting go, we shed a layer of burden, breathe a sigh of relief, and step closer to the vibrant, authentic version of ourselves.


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